So, a little over 20+ years ago I realized that I was a little bit different from everyone else. I was watching a TV show and had strange but normal feelings for a character.
It's the first time I remember feeling that way towards a woman.
Her personality was very strong and straight forward. She was strong on the inside And on the outside. I would be watching it and I would notice how she would act and talk. That's when I knew I liked people for their personalities, rather than solely based on looks. I felt stronger feelings towards women than men, however. It's because they have the ability to be kind, sweet, caring, beautiful, Strong and Courageous all at once.
From 7 till 16 I tried my hardest to hide those feelings. But it eventually became too hard to hide. I would watch really sweet movies about beautiful lesbian couples and would cry because I wanted to be honest with myself..
I started doing research and realized that I am pan sexual. Meaning I fall for souls. I see through their beautiful outer layer and see into their hearts for who they are. Regardless of gender, age, or race.
When I was 18, I was finally able to open up that part of my life. It was so spectacular. I felt like a new person.
I don't have to yell it to the world to be happy. I'm perfectly content with just knowing who I am on the inside.
It's a wonderful feeling to have people in my life that accept me for who I am.
I've never had to be fake with you. I've never had to be someone else. I'm allowed to be myself. That's all I could ask for.
Thank you for allowing me to be me and accepting my flaws and quirks without judgment.
It means the world to me.
XX
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